《Richer Wiser Happier》（《更富有、更睿智、更快乐），是《The Investor's Podcast Network》（《投资者播客联盟》）的系列节目之一。在后院阅读@哈尼美女的翻译版本不到一半，被震撼了。对很多人有用，在征求同意后直接扣出她节选的英文，自行翻译。一来是提升英语能力，可以和美女博士对答案。另一个是尊重她人的版权和付出，尽量不拷贝搬运原文。以下是节选内容，采用逐段翻译。有兴趣的朋友可以看原文博客！
主持人：威廉・格林
嘉 宾：托尼・罗宾斯
William Green (27:31)：
威廉・格林
And when I ask people on Twitter for questions they'd like me to ask you, someone called Misha Sharikov said, "How do you deal with deep emotional adversity?" And I'm wondering if you could give us your perspective on how to take control of our minds so that when these extreme challenges come up, whether it's COVID or business challenges or health challenges, how do we actually deal with it so that they don't wreck our lives?
当我在推特上问大家有什么问题需要我问您的时候，有一位叫米沙·沙里科夫的网友说：“你如何面对极度的情感困境？”我也在想，如果是你在面临巨大挑战时会如何控制自己的理智，是否可以分享关于这方面的个人经历？比如说面对疫情挑战，面对事业挑战或身体健康挑战时，我们该如何正确的面对挑战，才不至于一败涂地？
节选一，面对压力，战胜自己
Tony Robbins (28:12)：
托尼・罗宾斯
Well, one thing that we all have to remember, and I write about this in this book is that we all are going to experience extreme stress in our life.It's the one commondenominator（美/dɪˈnɑːmɪneɪtər/ n.共同特征）.
额，我们必须要记住一个事实，一个我写在这本书里的事实，那就是在我们的人生里都将面对极限的压力。它时人共同的特征，而非合个体特例。
I don't care if you're a multi-billionaire, I don't care if you are the greatest family, I don't care if you've tried to do everything right, something's gonna happen. Your house is gonna burn down, somebody's gonnaburglarize（美/ˈbɜːrɡləraɪz/ v.盗窃）you, you're gonna lose a dear friend, someone's gonna tell you have atumor（美/ˈtuːmər/ n.肿瘤）.
世界唯一不变的就是改变，一定会有事情发生，这与你是亿万富翁无关，与你有一个完美的家庭无关，与你是否做对了所有的事情无关。你的房子可能会着火，你可能会遭遇盗窃，可能会失去一位要好的朋友，也有可能被告知自己体内有颗肿瘤。
I mean, I've been sounding very positive, aren't you sure if you're telling me talk about this?
我的意思是，我只是列举了这些可能，你真的需要我来谈谈这些吗？
But it's the truth.If it hasn't happened, it's going to, I've had all the above.
但这些都是真的，如果你的生活中还没有发生这些糟心的事，那它一定在来的路上了，那些事在我这都一一发生过了。
But what I've learned over time is, when you push through extreme stress, some people just give up and collapse and go through emotional wasted place. If you can first take care of your body and mind, if you can feed your mind 20, 30 minutes a day, something you go after, because your mind focused on that, as opposed to what comes at you in your pocket with click bait, something that makes you stronger psychologically, emotionally, physically, that's what you manufacture your life from.
当经历极度的压力时，有些人面对压力直接放弃，不战而败，置身于消极逃避的困境。我们能从自负这过程中学到什么？首先得在身体和心理上做好准备，每天花20，30分钟去梳理大脑中的内容，然后再去追逐你的想法，因为你的注意力已经在关注这些事，即使事实不如所愿，你也会因自己的准备和心理暗示而得到各方面的提升，比如在精神上，情绪上甚至是身体上变得更强大，这才是你在创造你的生活。
But then also, it's what you do with your body, where you push, like the human system respond to challenge.
同时更重要的是我们的所作所为，是我们选择的方向，比如有人为自己的同伴选择负责到底。
The more we challenge, the more we grow.
挑战越多，成长越多！
And so I do things every day, I have a set of dailyregimens（美/reɪˈʒiːm n.养生之道）that push me to get stronger and stronger. Like I said, I'm gonna be 62 years old, I'm doing things I couldn't do when I was 27 years old, to give you an idea, faster, stronger, better, I can lift more weight, but it's because we're pushing.
所以，我每天所追求的，我的生活之道--让自己变得越来越强大！就像我以前讲的，我都快62岁了，我现在能做我27岁时做不了的很多事情，给自己设定一个更快更强更好的目标，我能承担更多，是因为我在不停的挑战自己。
And when you do that, when you push through extreme stress, however you do it, three things happen.
当你也这样做，你也在极限压力下选择挑战自己，无论你的表现如何，都会有如下三个变化产生。
One, you discover how strong you really are, because we all underestimate ourselves.
第一、你会发现你自己真的非常强大，因为我们习惯了低估自己！
Two, you find out how your real friends and family are, because they're the only ones that stick around when all hell's breaking loose.
第二、你会发现时谁才是真正的朋友和家人，因为当地狱来临，失去一切时只有他们还陪在你身边！
And three, you build almost an immunity to all the stuff that used to stress you out.
第三、你会对那些曾经压垮你的压力产生防御甚至是免疫，对曾经一笑而过！
节选二、注意力在哪，你就会到哪
Tony Robbins (34:38):
托尼・罗宾斯
So you got to take control of your own mind.
这样，你才能对自己掌控自如！
And the three ways I talk about how to do that just real fast is your decisions control everything. But the most important decision is often made unconsciously.
我讲过的三种对自己掌控自如的方法，简单来讲就是你的决策控制一切。但是很多重要的决策都是下意识做出的。
So one of those is, what are you gonna focus on?
其中之一就是，你的注意力放在哪里？
Most people let their focus go wherever their phone, the people around them make it go. And whatever you focus on, you feel, even if it's not true.
大部分人会放任自己的注意力随处晃荡，手机或旁人的吸引都会牵制他们的注意力，甚至注意力会放在自己那种虚无缥缈的感觉上。
Focus equals feeling, but there are patterns of focus.
注意力和感觉很相似。但是注意力有它自己的方式。
So one of the things I teach people inseminars（美/ˈsemɪnɑːr/ n. 研讨会，培训会)is I'll ask people, we all have patterns, where do you tend to focus more on what you have or what's missing? I know you do both, but which more?
方式一、曾经在培训会上，我问现场的人们：大家的注意力更多是放在你拥有的事物上还是你失去的事物上，我知道你们两者都会兼顾，但是谁更多？
Well, during COVID, there's no question. And even with achievers, they tend to obsess about what's missing.
比如在疫情期间，毫无疑问的，甚至不乏名人达士都痴迷于我失去了什么！
And what does that do? It doesn't matter how smart you are, you cannot sustain happiness when you're constantly focusing on what's missing.
然后呢？当全部注意力都聚焦在所失之上时，人将无法获得快乐，这无关乎一个人聪明与否。
Second one, you tend to focus on what you can or cannot control.
其二、另一个我常问的问题是：你的注意力放在自己的控制范围内还是控制范围外？
Well, there's tons in life you can't control, the things you can are the things you can influence.
人的一生有很多东西都是自己无法掌控的，你能掌控的只有你能影响的事物。
With COVID, it's gone crazy, most people focus on what we can't control.
对于疫情，太疯狂了，大部分人的注意力都放在了自己的控制范围外！
Do you focus more on the past, the present or the future?
其三、你是将自己的注意力更多的放在过去，现在还是未来？
Well, a lot of people focus on the past, some the presence, some the future. But if you're focused on the past you can't change or a future that you imagine that's worse.
然而，很多人将注意力放在过去，一些人关注现在，还有一些人倾向未来。如果把注意力放在已成定局的过去或虚无缥缈的未来那都是大错特错。
If you're constantly focusing on what's missing, what you don't have, what you can't control and the past, you're gonna be pissed off, angry, sad, or depressed or some combinationthereof(adv. <正式>在其中，由此).
如果，持续不断的将注意力放在失去的，不曾拥有，无法控制或过去的事物上，你将会被难过，悲伤，愤怒和沮丧等包围。
So changing those three patterns literally can change your whole life.
所以，认真的去改变主意力的三个方式，将改变整个人生。
节选三、巅峰状态和主观感受
Tony Robbins (37:39):
托尼・罗宾斯
All I had to do is pick up my phone to be stressed out and I got to realize my happiness is pretty cheap. Good news, bad news, you're in-between it all.
曾经，我每次拿起电话就忐忑不安（有啥事发生），发现原来我的快乐来的如此廉价。自己完全被好消息和坏消息不停的左右。
And one day I met this friend of mine in India and he taught me this simple principle.
有一天，我在印度碰到了一个朋友，他教给我一些简单的原则。
He said, "My spiritual vision is to live a life where what you talk about Tony, living in a beautiful or peak state," What I called, he goes, "I call it a beautiful state. What you call a peak state is a high energy state, love, joy, determination, loyalty, commitment, appreciation, drive. These are all high energy states and when you're in them, you do the right thing.
他说，“我梦寐以求的生活就是保持一种美好的状态或者说是巅峰状态，如曾跟Tony聊起的那样。”我叫它，他继续说“我称它为一种完美的状态，也是你说的那种巅峰状态，高能量状态，有爱，有趣，有把握，忠诚，奉献，感恩，激情四溢。这些都是高能量状态，如果你处于其中，那是对的。
And then there are states, he called suffering.
同时，也有一种状态，他称之为痛苦状态。
I didn't like this because I didn't think I suffered, I'm not a sufferer. But he said, "You talk aboutlousy（美/ˈlaʊzi/ adj. <非正式>极坏的，恶劣的）states. And when people get in those low energy states, frustration, anger, sadness, worry, envy, overwhelm, we do the wrong things."
我不喜欢这种状态，因为我不认为我在痛苦，我不是受害者。但是他说“你所说的是一种负面状态。当人处于这种低能量状态时，沮丧，愤怒，悲伤，担忧，焦虑，不知所措等，身陷其中，我们就是错的。
And he said, "I just started thinking, what if, it didn't matter what happened in my life, externally, I prefer it to be a certain way, but my view was, I'm going to live in a beautiful state, some of these high energy states.
他接着说“我开始思考，如何让自己的状态不受外界的影响。外面看起来我主动选择了一种方式，但我内心的想法是我要活在一种巅峰状态下，处在一中高能量的状态中。”
It doesn't mean you're happy every moment, it might be driven, I might be hungry, it might be you're appreciative, it might be grateful, it might be fun, it might be loved. So it's not just, I'm happy all the time because that'sBS（这里的 “BS” 是英文俚语，完整形式是 “bullshit”，直译是“胡说八道”或“扯淡”）, you're not all the time, it's meaningful it could be."
它不意味着我每时每刻都是开心的，我可能是被动的，饥饿的，也可能是感恩，愉快，有趣和有爱的。所以，不是说每时每刻都要快乐，那是扯淡的。不是一直那样，才可能会如此这般。
He said, "I'm going to live in that most of the time in my life. I'm committed to live that state."
他说“我要让自己尽可能活在巅峰状态里，我会尽己所能的保持那种状态。”
And I was like, "I love that, I'm gonna steal that. Because I saw all your stuff, you can still do."
然后，我就像那样“我喜爱如此（悲伤状态），还鬼使神差的那样（选择悲伤）。因为，我都看出来了，你是悲伤状态，而你还坚持己见。”
I said, "But I would change the language for me at least, I would say, life is too short to suffer. And there's always things you can't control, there's always things you wouldn't prefer, but we make them life and death instead of it's my preference."
我说，“我首先得自己说服自己，我会说，人生苦短，何必悲伤。总有事情是不受控制的，总有事情是无法选择的，让其自生自灭好了，何必让自己跟着去受罪。”
And that's why relationships get messed up and everything else.
那就是万事万物错综复杂的根本原因。
So in the book, I describe this process of how to identify what triggers you and how toextract（美/ˈekstrækt; ɪkˈstrækt/ v. 提取，提炼)it from yourself. But eventually, you start to create what you describe, which is the 90 second rule.
所以，在这本书里，我描述了如何去识别和提炼那些影响你的因素。但是最终的结果是，你需要自己去使用90秒法则。
And it's like a game, it's like, you can get out of suffering, anger, frustration, sadness, whatever in asecondwith aperceptual（美/pərˈseptʃuəl/ adj. 知觉的，感知的）shift.
它就像一个游戏，像一个感知切换，在一秒内切换掉痛苦，愤怒，沮丧和悲伤等任何负面情绪。
And the number one perceptual shift is appreciation or it could be gratitude or it could be love, but the minute you appreciate something, the suffering is gone.
排在感知切换第一的是心怀感恩，感谢或爱。一旦你感恩某物，它带来的痛苦就会随之消散！
Suffering doesn't come from the facts, suffering comes from your perception of the facts.
痛苦，本身不来源于事实，它来源于你对事实的看法。
节选四：无知的错
Tony Robbins (40:23):
托尼・罗宾斯
And I try to tell people, ignorance is not bliss, ignorance is pain, ignorance is poverty, ignorance can be death because you're ignorant to the things that could be changing your healthiervitality（美/vaɪˈtæləti/ n.生命力、活力）.
我一直努力告诉别人，“傻人有傻福”是错误的，无知带来痛苦，无知导致贫穷，对一些影响生命健康的事物的无知甚至带来生命危险。
That's really what we're really talking about the 90 second rule. And I give people different techniques to break the pattern and I'm glad you used it today. That's awesome.
那是我真正想谈论的关于90秒法则的核心原则。我教给人们不同对技巧去打破注意力和感知力的惯性思维。我很高兴你今天也尝试去使用。这太了不起了！
节选五：金钱之外还有成长与快乐
William Green (41:12):
威廉・格林
There were times when your mom and your dad couldn't afford food or clothes, you really had difficulties. Now, I think it's fair to say you have hundreds of millions of dollars and you own beautiful houses and you fly on a private plane. And so you've experienced both ends of the spectrum. And a lot of people listening to this podcast, I think, share my fairytale illusion that if I become super rich, it's going to solve a lot of my problems. And I wondered if you could talk a bit about what the money does give you and what it doesn't give you having experiencedboth ends of the spectrum.
曾经，你的父母不能给你提供食物和衣服，确实经历过一段饥寒交迫的时光，但是现在，上天是公平的。你成为了百万富翁，住着漂亮的房子，拥有私人飞机。所以说，你是体验过物质生活的两个极端。今天有许多人在听这个博客，我想，我刚才分享这些梦幻般的经历可能会误导大家“如果我有钱了就能怎么怎么样”。我很好奇，从你体验过物质生活的两个极端的经历来看，钱能给我们带来什么，不能带来什么。
Tony Robbins (42:37):
托尼・罗宾斯
First, I've learned later in life, you just got to put happiness first.
首先，你需要把自己的快乐放在第一位，我也是后来才学会这一点的。
If you don't put happiness first, how many people have you seen who are incredibly wealthy who've taken their lives just in the last few years alone? You can think of fashion designers who just did this, you can think of a great guy from CNN——the food expert that we all knew, Anthony Bourdain, you can look at some great comedians that have taken their life who had more money than they could possibly spend.
如果不把快乐放在第一位，难道没见过那么多的巨富人生最后几年都过得很孤单吗？你可以想象那些时尚设计师是怎么做的，看看CNN报道的我们耳熟能详的大厨安东尼·波登，也可以看看那些伟大的喜剧演员们，他们赚的钱一辈子都花不完。
You don't need a lot of homework to see money doesn't make you happy. But what does make you happy，I found，is having a meaningful life.
你不需要做太多的功课就能看出钱不会让你开心。那什么能让你开心呢？我发现是有意义的生活！
Tony Robbins (43:07):
托尼・罗宾斯
And a meaningful life doesn't mean you're happy every moment, it just means you have a sense that you're growing and you're giving.
一种有意义的生活并不以为意你每时每刻都是开心的，它意味着你能感受到持续成长和给予的意义！
There're only two rules in the universe that seemimmutable（美/ɪˈmjuːtəb(ə)l/adj. 永恒的，不可改变的）to me, they're not my rules, they just look around everything. Universe grows or it dies, and everything universe contributes to, it's eventually eliminated by evolution.
我认为宇宙只有两种规律永恒不变，它不是只对我有效，它适用于万事万物。规律一，宇宙是动态的，要么生长要么消亡；规律二，宇宙产生的所有事物最终都会被进化所淘汰。
And so if you look at people that are happy and say, what makes people happy? The answer is progress.
如果你看到有人开心时问是什么导致了他的开心？答案是进步。
Progress equals happiness.
进步就等于开心。
A lot of people achieve a goal they work so hard for and then they go, "Is this all there is?" That's horrible. That's worse than failing because most of us when we fail, we pick ourselves up and go for it again, but if you've succeeded and you're unhappy, you're screwed basically.
许多人为了达到某一个目标，努力奋斗，然后他们成功了，“这就是全部吗？”那也太悲哀了。这结果比失败更坏，因为大部分人失败了还可以重新来过，如果一旦成功登顶，反而进无可进，面对无尽的空虚和寂寞，那就是高处不胜寒的感觉，基本上等于完蛋了！
Tony Robbins (43:44):
托尼・罗宾斯
But there's the other side. There're times when youworked your tail off（拼命工作）and you'reenthralled（美/ɪnˈθrɔːl/ vt. 迷住，使着迷）, it's not like, "Is this all there is?" you're enthralled, for how long? How long do you stay happy when this magnificent thing happens for——a year? Nine months? Six months? Three months? Three weeks? Three hours? Three days? Three minutes？"
但是还有另一个方面，时间。努力奋斗或痴迷沉醉的时间。它不像“这就是全部了吗？”痴迷的是保持这种巅峰状态的时间有多长？这种美妙的事情能维持多久？一年？九个月？六个月？三周，三天，三小时还是三分钟？
Most people are somewhere between three hours and three months, max.
大部分人能保持在三小时到三个月，顶天了！
And the reason, I believe，is you can't sit at the table of success too long——or you get fat and tired, and exhausted, and bored.
原因是，你并不能躺在功劳簿上太久，或者说，没有进步你会感到厌倦、疲惫和枯燥。
We're meant to grow. When we no longer grow, we pretty much disappear.
我们存在的意义就是成长，当成长不再，意味着我们即将消失！
节选六：挑战自我，不在乎他人评价
Tony Robbins (48:10):
托尼・罗宾斯
And so I got to a point in my life where I'm serving, I'm loving, I wouldn't stop, but I didn't need any other economics.
所以我达到了一个状态，人生的状态，热爱生活，为他人服务，即使没有任何经济利益刺激我也无法停止。
It's like, I'm not obsessed, like you said, I'm privileged to have planes, an island and all these things, but you can take all that stuff away. It doesn't change who I become as a man, that's what I own. All the other stuff can go away. And a big part of who I become as man is like…
就像你说的（不是我得瑟）我有飞机，有岛屿有其他财富，你甚至可以把这些财富都拿走。那也不会改变我成为我自己，这是我真正得到的东西，与外物无关！所有的在外财富都可以失去，唯一不变的就是我要成为什么样人。
I remember when I was getting ready to do Money: Master the Game. And I was interviewing all these billionaires, like I said and I'm looking around and seeing all these people suffering and I was just like, "This is wrong. I can't do anything, but I can do something."
我记得，当我准备去赚钱的时候，我就掌控了游戏（我掌控了金钱，而不是被金钱支配）。我采访了许多的亿万富翁，我在观察和研究这些人的经历，结果就像我喜欢的那样“这是错误的（目标只是赚钱）。我不可能全能全会（什么赚钱就做什么），但我一定可以做成一些事！”
Tony Robbins (50:20):
托尼・罗宾斯
And there's been studies and I wrote about it in Money: Master the Game, where now they can study, they can see the hormones triggering you just from yoursaliva（美/səˈlaɪvə/ n.唾液）.
我在书里写了关于钱的研究：掌控金钱，现在从哪里开始学习，就从你自己的真实欲望开始研究你真正感兴趣的事情。
But you're at Starbucks and you're not rich and you just decide, "I'm going to buy the next five people or 10 people their coffee," you don't know who they're, the high that you will get from that, you can find five, six, seven hours later in most people.
比如你在星巴克，你并不富有，你只是下了个决心“要给后面5个或者10个人的咖啡买单”，你甚至不知道他们的名字，由此带来的快感，大部分人在几个小时后就消退了。
And you going and getting some toy for yourself is great, it's nice, but things don't give sustainable fulfillment. What give sustainable fulfillment for people is growth and giving. If you're growing and giving you're going to have that fulfillment. So it's not that I'm such a good guy, it's just I discovered what life's about.
比如你给自己送个玩具，这很好很有趣，但是这并不能带来持续的满足感。能带来持续不断的满足感的事情是成长和奉献。如果你正在成长，而且感受到了那种满足感。这不是我的功劳，生活原本如此，我只是恰巧发现了而已。
Tony Robbins (50:58):
托尼・罗宾斯
I have the reward that every man and woman deserves. It's the one you earn with yourself because you know, regardless of what other people know, who you've become, you know where you started, you know where you are. And self-esteem, I hate the term, it's overused, but esteem for yourself does not come because everybody tells you you're great.
我得到了是人都能得到的奖励。只有自己才是最了解自己的，不管别人是否知道，自己一定知道自己想成为谁，是从那里开始的，当前在那里。我讨厌自尊这个名称，它被滥用了，但是一个人对自己的着重是内生的，并非需要所有人来告诉你“你很棒”。
Tony Robbins (51:36):
托尼・罗宾斯
You can hear that a million times and think you're not great. You can be told by everybody you're an idiot and you go, "I'll show you. I'm gonna show you who the hell I am."
你可能听过无数遍甚至自己也认为“自己不行”。你可能被所有人认为是个白痴，但是“我会向你证明，我一定会向你证明我是谁。”
It has nothing to do with people say, it's do you face challenges regularly and find a way to overcome?
别人怎么说无关紧要，重要的是拥有直面挑战并战胜挑战它。
That's what's gonna raise your own sense of identity. That's what's gonna give you inner pride, not ego pride. I'm talking about a pride that you deserve because you've earned it. I think every man and woman deserves that.
那就是在建立你对自己特性的认知，那就是从内而外的给你自信，而不是自负。我说的自信就是你应得的，你值得拥有的自信。我认为所有人都应该得到这种自信。